Trusting
by stubborn-dreamer
Summary: "It's not jealousy. It's more complicated than that. You are afraid. You fear what this contact with my ex-husband can cause in me. You're afraid this will shake my feelings and put me in doubt about what I feel for you. I understand what you're feeling, Nelson, but trust me, this is not going to happen." Avery/Nelson in 02x13.


**Based on episode 02x13 "The Walking Dead", which was totally distorted to fit into my version of the things. ;)  
**

* * *

Avery can't quite understand what is happening at the same time she knows exactly what is happening.

Her brain refuses to understand the message of that phone call, and rejects the pain that starts spreading in her chest.

She can only process Elijah looking at her with concern as he walks through the door.

\- I don't know ... they just called me... - the words spout out of her mouth without control, because part of her still seeks a way of everything to be just a mistake - They told me he died, I do not even know how he died ...

Her voice dies in the way, and she begins to gasp. Without saying anything, Elijah hugs her and she begins to cry.

\- I'm so sorry. - he laments. - I'll make some phone calls to find out whatever I can.

Avery nods amid the tears.

\- Thank you.

With her hands trembling and almost without strength, she takes her cell phone and starts dialing.

* * *

Nelson realizes something is wrong when he sees Elijah coming out of Avery's office.

He talks on the phone, scared and worried, and doesn't even look at anyone as he walks. Raven gives him an astonished look, and they immediately look where Avery is.

Then, Nelson sees his girlfriend walking around the room, yelling at someone on the phone and crying.

She's crying.

His first instinct is to run to her, and it's exactly what he does. Nelson needs a lot of effort not to enter the office at once and wrap her in his arms.

\- Avery? - he whispers at the door, as confused and scared as Elijah - Avery, what ...?

But her answer is like a blow in his face.

\- Not now, Nelson. - she says in a broken voice, with her back to him - I'm sorry, I ... I can't.

\- Okay. - he answers mechanically, barely listening to his own voice.

\- Guys, get back to work. - says DB touching Nelson's shoulder with a serious expression - It's gonna be alright. She will be okay.

Reluctantly, Nelson does as he orders.

Part of him is still in shock, anguished to know the reason for Avery's cry. What could have happened?

He thinks a million things and can't come to any conclusions.

On the other hand, he feels frustrated and angry.

Avery had refused to talk with him, and now she was talking with D.B.

She was telling D.B how she felt, whilst she had not even looked into his eyes.

Nelson clenches his fists under the worried gaze of Krummitz and Raven, and returns to work.

* * *

 ****  
\- To a dead man, you look pretty good.

Avery says the words without thinking straight. After the fright she had passed, she did not know exactly what she would tell him when she found him. If she found him.

But now he was there, alive and whole before her eyes, and she felt like she were waking up from a bad dream.

As soon as he sees her, he stands up and wraps her in a tight hug.

\- Are you alright?

Avery wants to tell Andrew about the absurdity of the question. He is considered dead for a few minutes and asks if _she_ is alright?

But she says nothing. She can't say anything. Instead, she just laughs.

\- I should kill you! - she exclaims between giggles, then turns serious again. - That phone call ... I didn't see that coming. That really scared me. What is going on?

Then, he begins to explain.

* * *

\- I'm getting married.

Andrew's words take Avery by surprise. Not so much by the words themselves, but by the circumstances in which they are said.

Dennis Booker, the man who had hired Stella Kaine to "kill him." He had said this after seeing a photo of Dennis Booker.

\- I'm sorry I did not tell you earlier ... I picked up the phone a thousand times to call you and ... I just did not know how.

Avery nods, concentrating.

\- It's all right, Andrew. But ... are you marrying Dennis Booker?

\- What? No! My fiancee's name is Jessica. Before, she was Jessica Booker. Dennis is her ex-husband.

Part of her feels strange about the news, but the other is genuinely happy. One of her biggest fears after their divorce was that Andrew could never move on, and now, he was getting married.

But she does not have much time to process this information from the personal point of view, because at the moment, that meant a lot more. It meant the reason.

\- So ... - she says, putting the pieces of the puzzle together in her mind - the ex-husband is trying to ruin your wedding.

Andrew sighs.

\- He did it. I just found out my application for the marriage license was rejected. A dead man can't marry.

Avery shakes her head.

\- We'll sort this out, Andrew. Call your fiancee and reassure her. There is no reason to cancel the wedding.

She says this decisively, and this way she is. If anyone was in the path of Andrew's happiness, then she would withdraw him.

For all they had ever lived together, she owed this to him.

* * *

\- Let's try to use this site as it was intended. - Avery says, staring at the screen where the target's website was displayed - Let's hire him. Nelson, could you click on "how it works?"

He doesn't answer, and only does what she sents.

While the team reviews the web site and discusses the best way to catch the digital murder, Nelson knows his mind should be totally focused on that purpose.

They were in the middle of a case - a case where the victim was Avery's ex-husband - and he certainly should not be thinking about how those words were practically the first ones she'd told him all day. And about how they were just that, a purely professional command.

Because before, she had been with Andrew all the time. Talking to Andrew.

She had not even allowed him to comfort her when she was crying.

\- Looks like Reaper make you uploading a video of yourself. - DB says - You give your name, the name of intended victim, and the explanation of why you need them dead.

\- If he takes you on, - Raven explains - he responds your video message and arranges a personal meeting to pick up the fee.

\- But why would someone send a video that would incriminate themselves? - Nelson asks, for the first time interested in something related to the case.

\- His clients are desperate. - Avery answers - They do anything to escape justice.

\- We'll send him a video requesting him to kill some cop. - exclaims Elijah - When he appears, we catch him.

Avery nods.

\- This is the idea.

\- Great. I volunteer.

\- No, no, no. - DB opposes. - It can't be you. This video is a way to eliminate undercover agents. We do not have time to create a protection.

\- We can not risk with a flawed history. - Krumitz agrees.

\- I'll take my chances.

\- No! - Avery interrupts them - I agree with the two. We will not use an agent. We need a civilian.

\- A civilian who really wants to kill a cop? - DB asks.

\- Or maybe not. - Avery answers - Maybe we just need somebody with an incredible compelling true story. And an offer the Reaper can't resists.

She explains the plan, and everybody supports her. So, she leaves the room to put it into practice.

* * *

\- Nelson, stop clenching your fists like this. - Raven whispers to him, as soon as they are alone in the laboratory - This way, you will end up hurting yourself.

\- What are you talking about? - he whispers back.

\- Well, we do not have time to discuss about it, so I'll be brief. It's normal, what you're feeling. The presence of the ex is never easy to deal with. But believe me, Nelson, there's no reason to be jealous. This case is just an unfortunate coincidence. Avery is with you because she loves you. Andrew's presence here is not going to change this.

\- Why are you saying this? I never thought this way.

\- Really? - Raven challenges him - So, why are you behaving like this all the morning? As if you could shatter this glass walls with your look alone?

Nelson sighs, giving up convincing her. Sometimes, he believed Raven could read his thoughts.

The strangest thing of all was that he believed her.

Andrew was Avery's ex-husband, and consequently she cared about him. She had been married to him, they had a daughter together, and then, they lost that daughter. Together.

They had been a family. Of course she cared about him.

And as Raven had said, that was an unfortunate coincidence. By an irony of fate, Andrew was the victim of a crime she was now investigating, and that was the reason they were together all that time. To catch the criminal.

It was just that. Nelson was convinced it was nothing more than that.

But if it was so simple, why did he still feel so troubled? Why did that pang of anguish insist on bothering him?

* * *

\- I need my life back. No one can fix this, and I'm out of my options. I'm getting married in a month. I was getting married. Dead people can't get a marriage license. - Andrew closes his eyes and takes a deep breath - Look at my fiancee's face when I told her... I just ... I love her. So much. Jessica ... she's everything to me. Everything. I just want to marry her.

Avery can't help smiling as she watches Andrew talking in front the laptop.

The reason of her smile is not necessarily the certainty he is doing a good make-believe job, and they will to catch the target.

She is smiling because she knows that despite his performance, he is being sincere.

The way he'd talked about Jessica, the tenderness with which he'd uttered her name even in a planned act. She had that same tenderness in her voice when she talked about Nelson.

After the video is recorded, he closes the computer and looks at her, as if expecting a command.

\- And what about now?

Avery shrugs.

\- We wait.

Until that day, Avery had never realized how much she still cared about him, how much his happiness was important to her. Not until she received the news that he was dead. After that, the fact they were there, face to face, was almost like a miracle.

\- I'm glad you found someone. - she tells him. - I see you really love her.

It was not an assumption.

\- Yes - he responds immediately - I love.

\- You deserve to be happy, Andrew. And I'm very, very happy about it.

\- Do you know? I always thought I'd be alone forever, so I met Jessica and ...

Andrew's words die in the silence, and Avery knows what it means: something too complex to be expressed verbally.

\- I know. I can perfectly understand .

Suddenly, his expression becomes curious.

\- Do you can perfectly understand? This means... Did you also meet someone?

Avery feels her face warm. She lowers her eyes.

\- Well... Yes, I did.

\- And you're happy?

Automatically, Avery smiles, and Andrew smiles back.

\- I believe this is a good enough answer. Whoever he is, this man is very lucky.

\- Jessica is lucky too.

It seems strange they are there, talking about their new relationships, but on the other hand, Avery also thinks it's a blessing.

It's a blessing they can have that conversation, that after they had lost a daughter and divorced, there was no pain, guilt or resentment between them. Instead, they wished the best for each other, and it wasn't all the divorced couples who got that.

An almost embarrassing silence follows, but is soon interrupted by a sound from the laptop, and Avery runs to check.

\- So... it worked? - Andrew asks, alarmed.

\- It seems, - Avery answers with a satisfaction aire - we're going to Philly to catch the Reaper.

* * *

\- I made some calls. The State of Connecticut officially started the process to bring you back to life.

While she says the words, Avery is satisfied. Satisfied and relieved. She had been able to help him.

Andrew smiles and sighs, also relieved.

\- That's wonderful news.

\- But it maybe take a while. There is no precedent for reversing a legally issued death certificate. And about Dennis Booker ... someone maybe call him to a local PD and ... well, your fiancee's ex-husband will not bother you anymore. - she gives him a wink.

Andrew nods, looking her tenderly.

\- I do not... know what to say ... other than ... thank you very much.

Avery shrugs, grinning at him.

\- You don't have to thank me. You would have done the same for me.

\- Surely. And Avery ... I wanted ... I mean, this might sound strange but ... Would you come to my wedding? - Avery's eyes widen - Only if you're comfortable with the idea, of course! I don't want to compel you to say "yes" in any way, I just thought ...

Avery laughs and Andrew stops talking, his face ruddy.

\- I know. And no, there's nothing strange about it. We are two people who care about each other, and want the happiness of the other. The taboo between former spouses was created by the society, and has nothing to do with us. So... yes, I will go. If it's not a problem to Jessica, I'll be there.

Andrew laughs and shakes his head.

\- No. It's not a problem, I assure you.

\- In this case, I await your invitation.

They hug each other again, so he leaves.

With a small smile, Avery watches Andrew walk away. When he disappears of her vision, she sighs, feeling a pleasant peace in her heart.

It had been good to see him again, though the circumstances were not exactly the best. It was good to know that Andrew was well and happy, and even though the pain of Hannah's loss was never fully healed, he had managed to move on. Like her.

Avery hoped Jessica would make him happy, just like Nelson made her happy. It was good to be at peace with her past.

With that feeling, Avery turns to her desk to pick up her things and go to meet Nelson, but when she looks at the door, she notices he already came to meet her.

Automatically, she opens a smile.

\- Nelson. I was just going to you.

Nelson smiles back, but his smile is brief and undoes quickly. In his face, there is the same affliction Avery had seen all day, which had made herself distressed. His thoughts seem to be millions of miles away.

\- It seems I ran into you first.

There is a silence then. A silence the kind Avery hated.

It wasn't like the comforting stillness that fell upon them minutes before falling asleep after an intense workday, or even when they were exhausted after making love, and there was absolutely nothing to be said. That was a dead silence, a silence that drifted them away.

And Avery would not allow anything drift them away.

\- It's Andrew. He's the reason, isn't?

Nelson's eyes widen, like those of a kid caught in a mischief. Avery, however, remains calm.

\- What are you talking about?

\- Anyone who looked at you would not notice anything different, but not me. I know you, and I know when something bothers you. You've been acting strangely all day, all the time when Andrew was here.

\- Do you think I'm jealous?

Avery smiles, remembering the many similar cases she had seen when she was a psychologist. It was a very common insecurity in young people like Nelson  
\- No. - she answers with a deep security. - It's not jealousy. It's more complicated than that. You are afraid. You fear what this contact with my ex-husband can cause in me. You're afraid this will shake my feelings and put me in doubt about what I feel for you. I understand what you're feeling, Nelson, but trust me, this is not going to happen.

Nelson sighs, letting his anguish out, giving up trying to pretend.

\- Sometimes I wish you couldn't read me so easily.

Avery walks the short distance separates them, and looks deep into his eyes.

\- Do you remember how long I took to tell you I returned your feelings after you kissed me for the first time?

Her question catches him by surprise. First, because she is very serious, and second, because even though she knows the answer, she seems to want listen that from him.

\- Two months - he answers - The longest two months of my life.

\- And you know why it took me so long? Because I wanted to be sure. I wanted to be absolutely sure that what I felt was strong enough to survive the differences and adversities that I knew would be in our path. I wanted to be sure I would not hurt you at any time. I've thought and rethought this a million times, Nelson. And I would never have said "yes" if I had not this certainty.

There is a small moment of silence, which was a silence Avery liked too. The silence of understanding, the silence that said wordlessly that everything was fine.

\- Andrew is still important to me, but I no longer love him that way. I love you, Brody Nelson. Just you. And nothing is going to change that.

She says it with fever and determination, and he feels such relief he can hardly measure it. As if the weight of the world had been taken from his back.

\- I'm sorry, Avery. I really sorry. Of course he is important to you. He was your husband, the father of your daughter. I have no right to question that. God, I feel so selfish ...

Avery shakes her head.

\- It's all right. But Nelson ... You do not have to feel like this. I came whole to this relationship, and so I am: whole with you.

Then, she kisses him so passionately that it takes his breath, but he doesn't care. In the moments when he was kissing Avery, breathing wasn't a priority.

\- Oh ... We just broke one of the rules. You know, we kiss here ...

Avery pretends to think.

\- Let's take it as a small exception. And after all, we're almost alone.

Nelson opens a satisfied smile.

\- In this case, I think I should take advantage of the rare occasion a little more. What do you think?

Avery narrows her eyes with her hands on his shoulders.

\- Okay, but do not push your luck.

They kiss again.

\- Well... - says Nelson, changing the subject and his voice tone - It's Friday night, my working hours are over, and I'm free. I wonder if it would be too late to take my girlfriend to cine.  
\- I think your girlfriend would accept ... If she could choose the movie.

\- That's fine with me. Should I call her, then?

His answer is a small laugh from the blond woman in front of him. And a painful punch on his shoulder.

\- Hey! - Nelson winces, taking one hand to where Avery had hit him - Avery ... It hurts!

\- Oh really? Tell that to your girlfriend. - she blinks.

\- Well, if she still has not noticed, I'm already telling.

\- That's much better. - Avery picks up her purse and her coat from the table. - Now let's go, or it'll be too late. And I'm going to choose the movie.

Nelson rolls his eyes and begins to follow her.

They walk side by side through the Cyber Division, filling the stillness of the night with their voices and their melodic laughter.


End file.
